某公司招募新進人員，幾百個大學生研究生爭相自我介紹

"我台大"！
"我交大"！
"我清大"！
"我成大"！
"我北大"！
……

突然，一女生響亮聲起："我波大"！
董事長一拍桌說：用你了

(事後，董事長叫該女生到其私人辦公室，
關上門窗，拉上窗簾，說：你波大
拿出來看看~~~~~
該女掏出畢業證書
> > 寧波大學...

有一次自強與美華一起去露營，在帳篷搭好之後，他們二個就鑽進去睡覺覺……睡到了半夜……突然自強把美華搖醒……並且指著滿天星星對美華說：「美華，你看著滿天星星有何感想啊~~」美華看了星星一眼之後就說了：「看了這滿天星星，使我覺得人類真是渺小啊……我們應該好好珍惜我們的生命、造福社會……為世界盡一份心力吧！那自強你呢？」瞪著滿天星星，他說了：「你看了那麼久，難道都看不出我們的帳棚被偷走了嗎……」

哥哥：「醫生，我弟弟一直幻想著他是一隻母雞！怎麼辦啊？」
醫生：「我看看。嗯，他看起來很嚴重！為什麼現在才帶他來呢？」

這是美國CBS 60 Minutes ( 六十分鐘 )主持人 Andy Rooney對 40歲以上 的女人的看法：

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.
隨著年齡增長，我越來越珍惜 40歲以上的女人
Here are just a few reasons why:
為什麼呢？
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
40歲以上的女人不會在半夜把你吵醒，然後問你：
"What are you thinking?"

你在想什麼？
She doesn't care what you think.
她才不在乎你在想什麼。
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game,
40歲以上的女人如果不想看球賽
she doesn't sit around whining about it.
她不會坐在你旁邊抱怨東抱怨西
She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
她會去做她想做的、更有趣的事情
Women over 40 are dignified.
40歲以上的女人穩重自持
They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera
不會在歌劇院或高級餐廳裡
or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
跟你大呼小叫
Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you
當然，如果你罪有應得，她們也可能神不知鬼不覺地
if they think they can get away with it.
一槍把你給斃了。
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.
熟女不吝於讚美 (不管是不是實至名歸)
They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
因為她們親身體驗過被忽略的滋味
Women get psychic as they age.
女人越老越通靈
You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
你永遠不需要向40歲以上的女人懺悔
Once you get past a wrinkle or two,
只要能夠對皺紋視而不見
a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
40歲以上的女人遠比年輕美眉性感
Older women are forthright and honest.
熟女直接又誠實
They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one.
如果你是蠢蛋，她們會馬上叫你滾蛋
You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
你完全不需要傷腦筋揣摩她的心意
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
40歲以上的女人有很多優點
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.
40歲以上的男人呢？
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40,
相對於每一個性感、迷人的40歲以上的女人
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants
就有一個禿頭凸肚的熟男
making a fool of himself with some 20-year old waitress.
厚臉皮地跟小他20歲的美眉調情
Ladies, I apologize.
女士們，請容許我在這兒
For all those men who say,
幫妳們說句公道話：
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
那些說只想喝免費的牛奶而不願買頭母牛回家的男人
here's an update for you.
實在是太搞不清楚狀況了
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.
今天有80%的女人寧願不結婚
Why?
為什麼呢？
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig
因為她們終於發現不需要為了一根香腸
just to get a little sausage!
買回整隻豬